I awoke to quite a startling sound this morning. A sound you don't audibly hear but you awake after in its quake. The sun was shining down on me warming me even on this cold november morning. Today is Friday, the 16th of November. I live in quite the quant town where I spend very little of my time. I am a student at the local community college that is still quite a drive up the highway. I have a job as a sales associate at the local department store. My life is simple and not to complexed though with my antics I tend to leave it in even more a mess than the day past. I read a lot and I end up basing my expectations of life off a world that exists only in the mind and hearts of readers like me. A very non realistic world, which has left me quite bored and rather uneasy every day I step out of bed. All of this I say I think about before I have even finished getting ready. As I am off today, from the job from which I feel is going to be brought to an end in a rather untimely moment, I have decided to spend it with my known sweet heart. She is quite the peculiar creature very spontaneous with little vision of the future. The poor thing had to endure the untimely death of her father in a very grotesque manner, that being of a round to the skull. Her and her mother an ER nurse at the large hospital have never been the same since. I naturally, being the downfall of her previous relationship, find myself in a very complexed situation having to both take care of, partner, and support this fine young woman who by all means is fantastic, smart, endearing, wild, passionate, and dazzling. I can't help but see that my time with her will come to an end and is not meant to last. I am not a person to stay in one place, I love to travel and am too restless right now to find myself attached in anyway to a single person. As sad and pathetic as I sound I wonder if others are having to walk a path similar or to deal with the same sad thoughts.
I saw a film recently of a man who through some very dire circumstances was granted a new dream and that was to become a doctor. In this film he is given a question a genius man walks past holding 4 fingers up and asks him how many fingers does he see. The Gentleman of course answers with 4 and the older gentleman walks away muttering quite angry words at his answer. Later on in the film the Gentleman approaches the Elder gentleman and seeks out the answer. The answer is not a right or wrong but of perspective if you look at the hand you will see 4 fingers but if you look past them you shall see not 4 but 8 fingers. The lesson I learned was that you must look past the problems that have presented themselves right here and now only to distract you from your ultimate goal. For me it is to become a doctor as well. It has become not a dream but a passion of mine to help others and now I have a goal that will allow me to.
I with my sad thoughts, have decided that I shall attempt to see past them and while I am doing that I will work through them towards my goal. It is not ignoring that they are present, but that they in the big picture are a mere step in the pathway of my life. Made either to break us or propel us to a whole new level of awareness and life. I hope all of you read this will look past that which seems to be overbearing you, and that by looking past that which is only to blind you to the path, push through to your dream and to that which is your goal.
